In 10 years time, I will reach 25. At that age, I will probably already have graduated from university and start to work as a full time-employee. I want to become a young enthusiastic adult who has dreams and wishes in life, someone who would try really hard to achieve their goals and never feel sorry for letting any chances escape from their hands. That might sound a bit too much, but I think that it is not worth to live a life without any dreams or goals. So, being an energetic and enthusiastic young adult possibly is what I will be in 10 years time.

On the other hand, I want to repay what my parents who have given to me from the time I was born. It’s really an important and meaningful duty to me, because I love them so much and I have realised how much I have taken from them. Being a daughter as I have always been, I sometimes feel ashamed for what I did and have done. Repaying their faith in me by being a good person is one of my goals.

In 10 years time, the only thing I can say about myself is that I will be someone who tries really hard to achieve her goal and be a good citizen.

http://www.flickr.com/photos/9486845@N08/2130802144

Confucianism is partially relevant to my life, in different aspects. In my family, every one has to show respect to the superior, no matter how young or how old. For example, a 20-year-old nephew has to call me aunt and shows respect to me, even though I’m obviously younger than him about 5 years. It’s a bit awkward for us, but  everything has its order and we can’t do anything to change it. I’m taught not only at my school, but in my famiy that obedience and respect to the parents are essential, and also showing kindness and generosity in the society is important. Such things are called ethics. However, I have some disagreement with his ideas, as I belong the contemporary society and as no relation to the feudal time. In conclusion, it is partially relevant to my life.

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/76815233@N00/84317933

They were close friends during childhood, despite the difference in social positions. That can be seen as a pure and innocent friendship between a young master and a young worker. The two kids did not care about anything except for their great time being together.

CONFUCIAN VALUES

Genre: autobiography

Setting: Shaoxing, Zhejiang, China

Characters: Lu Hsun, Jun-t’u, the mother, Mrs. Yang, Hung-erh, Shui-sheng

Plot: Hsun returns to his old after a long time to take his family with him to a different place. He meets his mother and his nephew there. Everything changes a lot when he’s a way. He meets his former friend Jun-t’u and finds out that their friendship has altered a lot since the last time they were together.

Theme: friendship, poverty, family, social position

Other relationships in story: “Ruler and Subject”. The changing attitude of Jun-t’u towards Hsun shows the difference of their social positions. Jun-t’u respects the master and obeys him, despite the fact that they used to be childhood friends.

Comparison between story and Confucian ideals for relationships:

-          Similarity: the friends learn new things and support each other.

-          Differences: the friendship alters after a long time, they are not as close as before.

The most enjoyable thing about this unit was that we had the chance to watch the three movies, Howl’s Moving Castle, Crouching Tiger and Princess Mononoke. Even though sometimes they were boring and unattractive, it was interesting for me as I learned how to analyse movies based on what we researched in class. I found my disagreement with some parts of Confucianism as they belonged to the feudal period. However, I admit that his ideas are indeed reasonable and helpful for us.

2. If you could change or remove anything in this unit, what would it be? Why?

I would like to suggest a change to the movies as the ones we watched did not really reflect  Confucian values. As we analysed the films, it was hard for us to spot out the values as they were not clear, especially with Howl’s Moving Castle and Princess Mononoke. Fortunately, I did not choose those films to analyse in my essay; the ideas were whether implied or did not exist in the movies.

3. Do you feel that you understand how to construct an argument in an essay?

I personally think that I have gained great knowledge on how to construct an argument in an essay. Everything actually follows an order and our job is simply writing sentences that fit into it. I believe I understand the structure well, however, I admit that it still takes a long time for me to make it right, as I am not used to it.

4. What process did you go through to study for your exam?

There was not much to study for the exam though. Everything was memorised during the researching time in class. I only needed to check the exam notification and learned what the teacher told me to learn. The most important factor was the essay, which was prepared carefully before the exam; so basically, I did not really go through any process at all.

5. What was the most challenging part of this unit?

The most challenging part was the essay, as it took the majority of marks in the exam. For this essay, I specifically spent hours and hours working on it. I had to check every word’s synonym, learn how to link sentences and how to construct an analytical essay. After having the teacher checking it for me, I memorise the main points and practise writing, as my essay was long, and time was limited in the exam. It was really challenging for me because my skills were rather weak. The sentences written did not seem like they belonged to a tenth grader. And my lack of vocabulary in both Vietnamese and English caused me some troubles.

6. Are you proud of the essay you wrote? Why/Why not?

I am really proud of my written essay. I can say that it is the best I have written so far, as I put all of my efforts into writing and fixing so that I can gain a high mark and improve my skill at the same time. The result indicates that I was in the right track and compliments from the teacher really supported me. This essay also marks my final year in secondary school, and proves the maturity of my writing skills.

7. How do you think this unit could improve in the future?

Perhaps we could research about the influences of Confucian values more on contemporary life, as the movies we watch all reflected the feudal time in China and Japan. The contemporary life might has more interesting facts as it can show the deep impacts that cannot be negated through time. I would love to watch any modern movies, because it also reflects myself as part of the community.

8. What other styles of writing would you like to try in the future? Why?

I would like to try personal statement or exposition essay. They seem to be quite interesting as I have never tried them before. Personal statement is actually beneficial as we all need them in the application into universities. For exposition essay, it is a new term which I do not really understand.

9. What is the most important thing you learned as a result of this unit? Explain.

In my opinion, there are two important things I have learned. First, it is the construction of analytical essay. I have never gotten it right at the first time, so it is a great chance for me to get them deep into my memory. Secondly, I understand how my society and the older generations affected by Confucian values, and how I myself have been deeply influenced as well.

10. What would you like to study in this subject in the future?

I want to learn about contemporary literature, for example, Alibrandi. That is because I can easily understand the ideas and messages of the author, and also to learn their ways of writing, while with the ancient literature, it takes a great deal of efforts to understand the use of words. Also, the writers belonged to the older generations, so it is sometimes hard for me to understand their opinions and messages.

Genre: action, fiction

Setting: Qing Dynasty in China

Characters: Li Mu-bai, Yu Shu-lien, Jade Fox, Jen

Plot: during the time of Qing Dynasty in China, Li Mu-bai, who was a great warrior intended to give up his fighting lifestyle, passed on his sword, Green Destiny to Yu Shu-lien and asked her to transport it to Peking to Sir Te, a friend of him. At Sir Te’s house, she met his daughter, Jen and her governor, Yu. That night, a thief stole the sword and escaped. Later on, they discovered that the thief was Jen and the governor was Jade Fox, who killed Mu-bai’s master. Jen ran away from the house with the sword and fought Li Mu-bai. In the end, he was poisoned and died in the arms of Shu-lien, whom he had loved for so long. Jen committed suicide.

Theme: love, emancipation, revenge, loyalty

Main and relationship: ruler and subject

Other relationships: friend and friend, father and son, teacher and student

Comparison:

Similarities: the idea of being loyal to your friends, the portray of Mu-bai as an ideal man in the society, respect and honour the name of the family

Differences: females fight as warriors, run away from the house, etc.

MULAN

Genre: history, fiction, adventure, action

Setting: China, war time

Characters: Mulan, her family, Mushu, matchmaker, Ly Shang, etc.

Plot: China was invaded by the Huns, every man in a family was summoned to join the battle, that included Mulan’s father because he only had one child, and it was Mulan, a girl. Mulan didn’t want her father to sacrifice himself anymore, so she decided to disguise herself as a boy and joined the army. Her family after discovering that she had gone prayed for the ancestors to protect her. Mushu, a little dragon was sent by her ancestors to help her in all the situations. Mulan spent her time with the other men at the training camp and fell in love with the captain, Ly Shang. After that, she was in risk of being discovered her real gender…

Theme: love, loyalty, courage, etc.

Main relationship: ruler and subject

Other relationships: friend and friend

Comparison:

Similarities: men have responsibility in the society and country, everything is ordered by the King, females’ lives are arranged, etc.

HOWL’S MOVING CASTLE

Differences: females are more independent, act on their free will, etc.

Genre: fiction, adventure

Setting: imaginary and magical world

Characters: Sophie, Howl, Markl, Calcifer, Madame Sulliman, Witch of the Wastes

Plot: Sophie is just an ordinary girl who works in her father’s hat shop. One day, she went in trouble and was saved by Howl, a mysterious wyzard. She later on met the Witch of the Wastes and was cursed to turn into an old woman. She ran away and stayed in Howl’s moving castle as a clearner. At that time, the country is in war, and Howl is summoned by the King to serve the country, also the Witch of the Wastes. Madame Sulliman takes out all her power and turns her to the real age. Howl refuses to work for the King, and they are chased by Madam Sulliman. Sophie then discovers the true past of Howl and she decides to help him.

Theme: love, friendship, courage, war, emancipation

Main relationship: ruler and subject

Other relationship: friend and friend

Comparison:

Similarities: everything is ordered by the King, people have to listen and follow what he says.

Differences: women have their positions in the society.

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/40645538@N00/2744192587

“Father, I have something I wish to tell you.” I bow my head low in front of him.

“What is it, son?”

“I don’t want to marry the daughter of the Li family.” I look straight into his eyes and speak out my words without hesitation. He doesn’t seem to understand. His eyes glower in amazement for a second then he calmly says:

“Well, you must have been drunk. Go back to your room and have a good rest.”

Inhaling a deep breathe, I slowly repeat my words.

“Father, I don’t want to get married.”

This time, his face hardens and I know that I have poked into the sensitive spot of him. However, I do not intend to give up even just one bit. I would not let go of neither my dreams nor my love. I would do everything to escape from this arranged life. Determination filled up my head and now I am facing him and ready to fight for my will.

“JUEXIN! Do you know what you are talking about? How can you not get married?” He yells. His facial expression tells that he’s still shocked from what I have said.

“Please, father. I have worked so hard for many years just to wait for this time to come. I can’t just let all of my efforts become useless like this. Besides, I already have my loved one, whom I wish to be my life partner.” I carefully choose the words to say my wish, but they’re all filled with resolution and passion of a grown up man.

“Who is she? Is she better than the daughter of the Li family? I bet she’s not.” My father smirks at me.

“I shall not compare them to each other, father. I love Mei. She’s the only woman in the world who understands the trueself of mine and wishes to support me with all her life. I love her, father.”

“Mei? No!  You can’t! She’s not a match for you, Juexin. Listen to what the matchmakers have said, if you’re married to a wrong person, you are not going to be successful in your life. The daughter of the Li family is the perfect fiancee for you.” He immediately protests my wish, but I’m not going to give up.

“Father, I neither care nor believe what the matchmakers said. I love her and I trust that no matter who I am married to, I will still be successful. I will not marry until I finish studying for my own dreams.”

“Please, uncle, allow us to be together.” A soft voice speaks out from the door. Both of us are amazed to see Mei. She slowly steps forwards and bows to my father.

“Uncle, Juexin and I have been together for so long. I love him more than anything. Please wish us the happiness.” She pleads him but her eyes are as same as mine, full of determination. I am so touched by that look of her. I know that she’s the one for me, my ‘plum blossom’.

I hold her small hand tight and turn to my father, who is horribly angry. Seeing him like that, my strength is gone and my will starts to fade away. I have always been scared of him whenever he’s angry. Too occupied in my thoughts, I don’t know that I have loosened the grip on Mei’s hand. She worriedly shakes my arm. Suddenly, all the sleepless nights of working on the table, all the dreams of going to a higher education and being with Mei appear in my mind. A tiny voice is whispering inside my head:

“Juexin, try hard. You’re going to win him. Juexin, don’t give up. Your life is in your hand. If you let go of it, everything will be meaningless. Remember, Juexin, your life is in your hand.”

That’s right; my life is in my hand.

“Juexin, you foolish boy. You don’t have the slightest idea of what you are saying. Has that girl poisoned you with her drug? Or has she blinded you with a blind fold? Wake up! You’re not going anywhere. You’re to stay here and run this house. I’m not going to say a single word about this problem anymore. If I ever see you with that girl again, you are going to be disciplined.” He roars loudly and turns to Mei, who is stunned besides me.

“And you! Pack your things up and get the hell out of here! Never let me see your face again in this house! You evil witch!” His face is all red.

“Father! Don’t speak to Mei that way! She hasn’t done anything wrong. She understands me and supports me, while all of you are just trying to control my life.” I’m at my limit, I scream at him.

He is shocked, completely freezes at my words. I have never done anything like this to him. I have always been a filial son towards him, but not anymore. Today, I will give an end to anything that ties me to this meaningless life.

“Father, I will leave this house forever with Mei. I will not let any of you take control of my life. I will take Mei with me and we will have a happy life. Please don’t try to find us, because I won’t come back. These are words of a grown up man, father. Take care.” I bow to him the last time.

As I turn my heels to the front door, my father muffles:

“Juexin, if you set a foot out of that door today, your name is forever a shame of this house. I am not going to tolerate you for such a disgrace. Juexin, if you step out, you are no longer my son.”

“Sorry father, I will walk my own path now.” I say without turning my head back to look at him.

“Sorry uncle, I will not leave Juexin alone.” Mei bows to him the last time and runs to me.

My life is in my hand. I repeat to myself as we walk out of the house, into the new world of emancipation.

The reason why this quotation caught my attention is that it mentions about the relationships between members in a family. I like the idea of respect our parents and be obedient to them, and see our brothers and sistres as someone whom we can confide to and can rely on. This phylosophy indicates the important point that family is as same as government. In my opinion, what it means is that the families create society, if all the members have proper behaviours towards their relations, the society will become better and the solidarity will be tighter. Also, if people treat their companions with respect and honesty, it would be easier for the government to control the country.

Image source: http://www.flickr.com/photos/88133845@N00/333197388

Confucius (551 BC-479BC) was the Chinese most influential and respected philosopher, educator, thinker, etc. The whole China and some parts of Asia were affected by his ideas about an ideal society. Confucianism was founded based on his theories and has been followed by many people, who call themselves Confucianists. Confucianism has been the official philosophies in China as the politicians have taken them to control the country. Since China was one of the strongest empire in the world, it overpowered some of the small countries around, and those ones were influenced by Confucianism as well.

Confucianism is rather an ethical system than a religious one. Confucius himself was not interested in such things as God or hell; he believed that the only way that could lead to success was studying hard over a long period of time. However, contemporary Confucianism is associated with some religious functions.

Confucius developed a system of government, society and justice. He believed it is important for people to know proper behaviours in the society, in order to become succeed and gain high respect from others as they all have their own positions and responsibility.

The five relationships:

Ruler and subject

Father and son

Elder brother and younger brother

Husband and wife

Friend and friend

All of them above except for Friend and friend demonstrated his ideas about power of superiors over their subordinates. Authority and the right to judge belongs to the older ones, the inferiors need to give their obedience and respect to the superiors, and the superiors owe loving responsibilities towards their subordinates. This also showed clearly the inequality between men and women in the old time. Men overpowered women.

Confucius mentioned the importance of the Family. He considered it as an early training ground for life, where children are protected and educated to prepare for their future. Government at that time was seen as an extension of the family. They have duties to make the life of people better and maintain their relationships with Heaven, which was considered as the main judge of the universe.

Confucius has great influence all over China. The Chinese see him a worship object and build temples across the country to show their respect.

Ho Chi Minh City is penetrated painfully. Every street is a small construction site. Every small construction site has a hole. A deep, deep hole.

***

Within the four walls of the boundary, mud and soil mix with the air and stick to the workers’ faces, suffocating and itchy. Their dirty clothes and knitting eyebrows all tell stories about a day of working until you are out of breath.

***

The crowd of people lazily inches bit by bit on the road. Smoke and dirt whirl invisibly above their heads, creeping into their mouths and going through their brains. Their sweaty clothes and darkening eye bags all tell stories about days of not getting enough sleep.

***

Vy tilts her head to look around; a dreamy look is worn on her face. For a moment, the world is fading away. Real colours are replaced by a dim and unattractive grey. Like a picture with peeling paint. Like the covers those people have built to keep themselves within.

It takes a few minutes to bring her back to the real world, where the ugly truth still exists, where she is trapped in a place without mercy.  

***

The crane of the scooping truck hangs above the workers’ head, ready to pick them up and throw them into the holes. Vy is stunned by the view; her heart is beating out of chest. Everything stops moving around. Her eyes glower and she waits for their screams when they are lifted up.

A second is gone and nothing happens. The crane passes by their heads and pokes straight down to the ground, scratching the soil before moving up again. Vy’s breathe is steady, her heart stops racing dreadfully. She stands still, watching the crane does its work.

Each time the crane pokes down into the ground, it makes the hole deeper. Her heart beats achingly as her eyes follow each movement of the crane, like it has left a hole, inside her as well. She can feel it, the smarting bruises at the heart of Ho Chi Minh City is as hers.

***

“Stop it! Stop saying that!” Lan cried out as tears started to run down her cheeks.

“Shut up! How dare you talk to me that way? Don’t you see how disappointed mother is? It’s your entire fault!!” Trung’s face was purplish red.

“How can you treat me that way? I’ve done everything!! I gave you a child!!!”

“I want a son!!! A SON! This house needs an inheritance. And that can’t be a girl!” He stormed out of the room, leaving her sobbing violently behind.

Vy crawled out from the corner. She stayed there to hide away from her anxious father and accidentally heard the whole conversation. Ahah! That was why her father had always been so cold to her ever since she was born, and the entire paternal family. No one liked her.

She crawled towards her crying mother. Both of them were silent until her mum suddenly turned to Vy. Lan’s eyes were anxious with determination. She shook Vy’s shoulders fiercely:

“You have to be the best, Vy. THE BEST! You saw it, and if you wanted to prove them that you aren’t useless, you have to beat them all. Show them that you can do everything!”

***

Vy wheels her bike home. Its creak, echoes up and down the street. She stops by the river and withdraws into her thoughts. Slowly and timidly, she spreads her arms out and enjoys the golden moment when the breeze caresses her face.

She is flying across the river. The wind lifts her up high, nearly touch the sky. She raises her voice for a scream…

And she comes back to where she is. It is a rare moment of freedom.

She wipes her eyes, straightens her back, tightens her fists and walks home.

***

Vy is dreaming.

She’s standing in front of the crane again, but this time, she’s inside the boundary, observing everything clearly.

The crane is dark red. A red that sends shiver down her spines and she freezes. She stands there with her eyes wide open.

She watches as the crane pokes its giant teeth into the ground. Dirt and mud and soil whirl in the air, suffocating and itchy. Each poke penetrates a deeper hole. Too deep, too deep…

Her feet can’t bear to stand properly on the ground; her teeth chatter; goose bumps appear on her body; she feels cold.

The crane digs down deeper and deeper. Vy feels the blood in her body drains out. It flows out at the place in the left, her heart. It bleeds uncontrollably as the hole gets deeper.

Until, it explodes. The crane has reached its final goal. It touches the heart of Ho Chi Minh City.  Blood and soil mix together. She is shot right out of the boundary.

She hears a familiar laughter from the crane. Her father…

And she wakes up.

***

Trung gives Lan a sharp slap to her face and pushes her down onto the floor. As he’s about to give Lan another one, Vy elbows between them two and catches the slap for her mother. Her face is swollen red. She stands straight with her chin up high and glares at him with fire burning in her eyes.

“YOU!!! GET OUT!!!” He yelled to her face.

Vy still stands there like a statue. She doesn’t move, not even just a bit. Trung’s face gets redder and redder; he gives her three more slaps before Lan pushed her away.  

“How dare you hit me like that?? I sacrificed a lot for you! And now you treat me this way!!! You and your corrupt family!! Go and DIE!!!” She pushed him down onto the floor and hits fiercely.

“She’s a girl but she’s thousand times better than those retarded naughty kids in your family. I told you, right? That I would show you all! I would show you that you’re NOTHING!!! I’ll repay everything! Everything you’ve done to me!!” She screams into his face as tears shedding endlessly.

“GET OFF ME!!!! You filthy woman!!!” He tries to push her away.

They tangle on the floor abusing each other. Both of them pay no attention to the little girl standing stunned right in front of them. She is whirling as thousand of thoughts fly through her head.

“What did she just say? She only used me for her advantage?” She murmurs absentmindedly.

She tries to stand still, but the floor is turning around and around. Her feet are shaking uncontrollably, her hands are shivering. She wants to cry, but tears just won’t flow out.

Suddenly, a strong wave hit her. She yelled.

“ENOUGH!!! BOTH OF YOU!!! I’VE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!!!”

Lan and Trung stopped momentarily to look at their daughter. Vy’s face is hard with no emotion. She just stands there, looks at them with soulless eyes.

“I’m getting out of here. So you’re free.” She says as she turns her heels towards the front door, leaves behind her parents screaming her name.

“VY!!!”

***

She’s running, running with all her strength she has possessed for a long time. She runs across many alleys and streets, with no particular destination in her mind. She just runs, run to ease the pain that nearly explodes in her heart.

And she finds herself in front of the familiar place. Familiar, but different.

The boundary is gone. And there’s no more construction site. All that is left is an ugly patched up street. Concrete fills up the hole.

The heart of Ho Chi Minh City is safe now. The deep hole can’t reach it.

It is healed, but forever left with scar.

Her heart stops bleeding, but scars are carved permanently there. They’ll never be mended.

***

She slowly walks to the river. She remembers the moment when the burden on her shoulders was so heavy that she wanted to break down. She remembers that it was right here, she suffered alone, with only the breeze from the river to console her.

And now, the burden is gone, but she feels lost. No one has her back. The burning scars are aching and they’re tearing her body into pieces.  Arms surround her torso, she is weak.

The sun is rising up. A new day has come. And tear-drops are falling.  

By Tram Anh Vo

HCMC, 04.03.2010

For my city, where I have always belonged to.

Image: http://flickrcc.bluemountains.net/index.php?terms=hole&edit=yes&page=3